Chikory visits Nerd Central - Part Two
YAY! The not-so-long anticipated arrival of part two is here. You can all relax now.
In all my time of riding the trains I've never once had my ticket checked. Not once! That is until precisely 9:13am on the 4th of September. :o) Ohmog! So exciting!!!
We got off the train at South Brisbane and were met by 2 macho cops who demanded everyone show their tickets in order to gain access to the streets below. I was stoked. In that moment my world became complete. Well, for a few minutes anyway.
**********************
There's one thing I've noticed during these missions to collect commodities, and that's that all the crazy people seem to congregate at the library. I don't know what it is that attracts them to it. After all you'd think they'd have better things to do with their time. I know if I were a nut job I'd have some fun with it. There are heaps of cool things you can do in a public place that are more fun than reading books and stalking dead relatives via old newspapers. But what would I know? Apparently I'm sane... Apparently.
On the topic of dead relative stalking, it's extremely funny to watch people getting excited over everything that they've discovered along their research journey. They almost never keep this intriguing information to themselves. No Sir, it's the friendly librarians that cop it the most. Miles is probably the one who is mainly targeted. You'll see him bailed up by some crazy person regaling him of all their uber interesting discoveries.
"And my great great great great great great grandma, she apparently used to go to the store and buy oranges! I know! ORANGES! Would you believe it? And afterwards, she'd squeeze them and have orange juice. Like, not from a bottle with preservatives and stuff. Just 100% pure fresh orange juice!"
Miles of course acts equally as excited over the news, just to be polite.
What I'd love to see is someone trying that over on the evil bitchy librarians. They'd be all, "Shut the hell up and piss off! We need you to vacate the machine NOW as we have a huge backlog of people waiting. I don't have time for civilities, you insignificant little twerp! ROAR!!!" Then they'd morph into some strange alien creature and proceed to eat them.
SMACK DOWN!
I was actually privy to a conversation between two researches. They were both literally fighting with each other for the right to speak. I wonder if either of them comprehended what the other was saying, because to me it just sounded like two people talking at the same time. But who knows. Maybe it's a talent this breed of weirdo possess. I joked with Julien that he should go over and start telling him about all the data and wheat prices he's collecting. But he didn't. :o( He'll make a spectacle of himself trying to squeeze through small gaps sectioning the public off from staff office spaces, but he won't share the enlightening world of data with anyone. *Sigh*
**********************
I was most disappointed that over the two days, Barry was a total no show. My plans were foiled! Not that I had any plans, but if I did then it would've been safe to say that they were well and truly stufftorized. Damn you, Barry. You got the last laugh. But unless you've been institutionalised we'll meet again. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But sometime in the future I'm sure. You haven't seen the last of me... Yeah, I dunno what that was about either. It just sounded good so I said it.
I blame Julien.*
**********************
It takes all sorts to make up society. Some characters are interesting. Some we can do without. The gay cowboy we saw, we can definitely do without. He showed up, cowboy hat, tighter pants than a guy should have, and a little black bag he carried ever so daintily in front of him as he ponced along. Ew factor definitely +2000. Without a doubt!
**********************
There are so many inconsistencies among the library staff it's not funny. For instance, it's okay to talk loudly with each other, but if you were to talk loudly on your mobile phone you'd get totally owned.
The other inconsistency we came across was over the use of the microfilm machine. This big fat lady came up to us to inform us that when you book a machine, you can have it until 2pm. After that they reserve the right to plant the boot in and evict you if necessary. Fair enough, we'd be done by then anyway. So we nodd in acknowledgement and she waddles off with her minion in toe (a trainee who seems to follow her around like a starving lost puppy dog hoping for some food).
So come 12:30pm, we decide to go for lunch. Same deal as always, on our return one of the Nazi ladies won't give our machines back without a few words of disgruntlement. "No! ROAR!!! Okay. Because I'm nice and stuff I'm going to allow you to do this, even though I'm not meant to. Remember. I'm going out of my way for you. I am your superior now. Now, I own you."
What-ev-er lady! Get over yourself. You're just a librarian. As discovered later in the day, you know very little about your job. Get this. Her solution to a computer related issue - Shut it down and restart it. Yeah, that'll fix every problem...
Your pooter has a virus - Right on, we'll shut it down and restart it. Now the virus is magically gone. YAY!
**********************
Throughout the course of collecting page after page of alphanumerical data you tend to see some rather amusing statements (See figures A and B). They may not make you laugh. But someone as mature as me finds it most entertaining.
Figure A - Smutty wheat. Heh. Wheat with bad language. I like that.
Figure B - This brings me to an important question. They have inspectors for most things. Grain inspectors, meat inspectors, ship inspectors etc... So does this mean they have butt inspectors? Imagine that. You're on the plane heading to a new country and you get that little green card to fill out. Occupation - Butt inspector. You'd be strip searched for that one, I'm sure.
And who would want to eat pork from the loin area? That just sounds dirty!
**********************
What is it about little old ladies conversing that's so funny? There were these two old ladies working side by side behind us discussing something that must have been extremely important to them. It sounded like they hadn't quite ironed out all the creases in their routine yet. But one appeared to not be giving as much of a stuff about it and decided to humour her cohort.
"I think it's essential that the name goes IN the box." "Yes. I agree. Yes." And so it went on...
**********************
Tuesday afternoon finished on a terrifying note. Upon our exit there were these strange "singing" people that congregated throughout the building.
There's a big hollow area that goes straight up the middle of the building, so it basically echos like a canyon. They situated themselves on each level, scattered strategically around the floors. Their idea of singing must have stemmed from some retarded artistic point of view. I tried to record it with my phone, but I didn't have time to perfect it. It was seriously creepy stuff. I just wanted to get the heck out of there. I don't know what it was, and I don't want to know either. All that warbling, screaming and humming was as eerie as the lake itself.
**********************
What is it with people who have to talk to those who don't speak English very well? On one of the days we were waiting at the elevators and there was this group of Japanese people. They were being shown around by some lady. So she congregates them around the lift and points to the big metal doors and says slowly and clearly, "This.is.the.elevator." Like, no way. Because the ones they have in Japan look totally different to these. They never would have known that. Not in a million years. *I roll my eyes*
**********************
Finally after an action packed Tuesday, we morph into Wednesday. I only have one thing to report for Wednesday, and that's the arrival of Barry's replacement. He's got nothing on the original, but he was certainly more verbal and proved more entertaining. He just didn't have any mystery about him.
Stephanie is the head lady librarian for the research department. As I said in my last post, she has the power but she uses it sparingly. She's hard but fair. She'll explain things to you and it'll seem like she's being an asshole, but in actual fact she's just adamantly telling you that she has the utmost confidence in you and you can do it if you just believe. Do I hear an Amen? No? Okay...
So there's this old guy who is obviously lacking in the sanity department. Not only that but he's the sort that believes others should do things for him. If he doesn't want to learn, then he won't. It's as simple as that.
He can't seem to load the reel on, so he goes to Stephanie for help. She says she'll show him, but he proceeds to start chunnering on about how he won't get it and she can just come and do it for him when he needs it done.
"No." She sternly informs him, "I'll show you how to do it. We are far too busy to keep coming back and loading the reel for you. You can do it. I'll show you how."
So after a bit of debating, he listens and watches and then starts his spiel, "Right. I'll have a go at it. I'll have a go of it. If I can't get it then I know I'm not perfect then am I? I'm not a perfect man."
The amusing part was that even after Stephanie had left he was still making his point. No one was listening to him. No one was even looking at him. But he was still talking as if there was someone standing right there still having a conversation.
He wasn't a stupid man though. He knew Stephanie wasn't going to assist him. So he actually waited for her to go to lunch, and then collared some other woman to help him. As she showed him how to do it, again, he threw in the remark "I can take them off and you can come and put them on for me."
Heh. Right...
So he's continuing to talk to himself long after the lady has left. Across from me there is an old guy working who has next to no tolerance at all. He spins around in his chair and doesn't yell, but says it loud enough for those surrounding him to hear, "Shut the
up you old !"
And that's the end of that. When we go back to collect any data we missed, I'm hoping to go to the museum. I know I said that last time, but this time I'm going to try extra hard to make that happen. And if it doesn't, then it's all Julien's fault.* :o)
*Personal joke. You won't get it, but you're welcome to laugh anyway.
In all my time of riding the trains I've never once had my ticket checked. Not once! That is until precisely 9:13am on the 4th of September. :o) Ohmog! So exciting!!!
We got off the train at South Brisbane and were met by 2 macho cops who demanded everyone show their tickets in order to gain access to the streets below. I was stoked. In that moment my world became complete. Well, for a few minutes anyway.
**********************
There's one thing I've noticed during these missions to collect commodities, and that's that all the crazy people seem to congregate at the library. I don't know what it is that attracts them to it. After all you'd think they'd have better things to do with their time. I know if I were a nut job I'd have some fun with it. There are heaps of cool things you can do in a public place that are more fun than reading books and stalking dead relatives via old newspapers. But what would I know? Apparently I'm sane... Apparently.
On the topic of dead relative stalking, it's extremely funny to watch people getting excited over everything that they've discovered along their research journey. They almost never keep this intriguing information to themselves. No Sir, it's the friendly librarians that cop it the most. Miles is probably the one who is mainly targeted. You'll see him bailed up by some crazy person regaling him of all their uber interesting discoveries.
"And my great great great great great great grandma, she apparently used to go to the store and buy oranges! I know! ORANGES! Would you believe it? And afterwards, she'd squeeze them and have orange juice. Like, not from a bottle with preservatives and stuff. Just 100% pure fresh orange juice!"
Miles of course acts equally as excited over the news, just to be polite.
What I'd love to see is someone trying that over on the evil bitchy librarians. They'd be all, "Shut the hell up and piss off! We need you to vacate the machine NOW as we have a huge backlog of people waiting. I don't have time for civilities, you insignificant little twerp! ROAR!!!" Then they'd morph into some strange alien creature and proceed to eat them.
SMACK DOWN!
I was actually privy to a conversation between two researches. They were both literally fighting with each other for the right to speak. I wonder if either of them comprehended what the other was saying, because to me it just sounded like two people talking at the same time. But who knows. Maybe it's a talent this breed of weirdo possess. I joked with Julien that he should go over and start telling him about all the data and wheat prices he's collecting. But he didn't. :o( He'll make a spectacle of himself trying to squeeze through small gaps sectioning the public off from staff office spaces, but he won't share the enlightening world of data with anyone. *Sigh*
**********************
I was most disappointed that over the two days, Barry was a total no show. My plans were foiled! Not that I had any plans, but if I did then it would've been safe to say that they were well and truly stufftorized. Damn you, Barry. You got the last laugh. But unless you've been institutionalised we'll meet again. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But sometime in the future I'm sure. You haven't seen the last of me... Yeah, I dunno what that was about either. It just sounded good so I said it.
I blame Julien.*
**********************
It takes all sorts to make up society. Some characters are interesting. Some we can do without. The gay cowboy we saw, we can definitely do without. He showed up, cowboy hat, tighter pants than a guy should have, and a little black bag he carried ever so daintily in front of him as he ponced along. Ew factor definitely +2000. Without a doubt!
**********************
There are so many inconsistencies among the library staff it's not funny. For instance, it's okay to talk loudly with each other, but if you were to talk loudly on your mobile phone you'd get totally owned.
The other inconsistency we came across was over the use of the microfilm machine. This big fat lady came up to us to inform us that when you book a machine, you can have it until 2pm. After that they reserve the right to plant the boot in and evict you if necessary. Fair enough, we'd be done by then anyway. So we nodd in acknowledgement and she waddles off with her minion in toe (a trainee who seems to follow her around like a starving lost puppy dog hoping for some food).
So come 12:30pm, we decide to go for lunch. Same deal as always, on our return one of the Nazi ladies won't give our machines back without a few words of disgruntlement. "No! ROAR!!! Okay. Because I'm nice and stuff I'm going to allow you to do this, even though I'm not meant to. Remember. I'm going out of my way for you. I am your superior now. Now, I own you."
What-ev-er lady! Get over yourself. You're just a librarian. As discovered later in the day, you know very little about your job. Get this. Her solution to a computer related issue - Shut it down and restart it. Yeah, that'll fix every problem...
Your pooter has a virus - Right on, we'll shut it down and restart it. Now the virus is magically gone. YAY!
**********************
Throughout the course of collecting page after page of alphanumerical data you tend to see some rather amusing statements (See figures A and B). They may not make you laugh. But someone as mature as me finds it most entertaining.
Figure A - Smutty wheat. Heh. Wheat with bad language. I like that.
Figure B - This brings me to an important question. They have inspectors for most things. Grain inspectors, meat inspectors, ship inspectors etc... So does this mean they have butt inspectors? Imagine that. You're on the plane heading to a new country and you get that little green card to fill out. Occupation - Butt inspector. You'd be strip searched for that one, I'm sure.
And who would want to eat pork from the loin area? That just sounds dirty!
**********************
What is it about little old ladies conversing that's so funny? There were these two old ladies working side by side behind us discussing something that must have been extremely important to them. It sounded like they hadn't quite ironed out all the creases in their routine yet. But one appeared to not be giving as much of a stuff about it and decided to humour her cohort.
"I think it's essential that the name goes IN the box." "Yes. I agree. Yes." And so it went on...
**********************
Tuesday afternoon finished on a terrifying note. Upon our exit there were these strange "singing" people that congregated throughout the building.
There's a big hollow area that goes straight up the middle of the building, so it basically echos like a canyon. They situated themselves on each level, scattered strategically around the floors. Their idea of singing must have stemmed from some retarded artistic point of view. I tried to record it with my phone, but I didn't have time to perfect it. It was seriously creepy stuff. I just wanted to get the heck out of there. I don't know what it was, and I don't want to know either. All that warbling, screaming and humming was as eerie as the lake itself.
**********************
What is it with people who have to talk to those who don't speak English very well? On one of the days we were waiting at the elevators and there was this group of Japanese people. They were being shown around by some lady. So she congregates them around the lift and points to the big metal doors and says slowly and clearly, "This.is.the.elevator." Like, no way. Because the ones they have in Japan look totally different to these. They never would have known that. Not in a million years. *I roll my eyes*
**********************
Finally after an action packed Tuesday, we morph into Wednesday. I only have one thing to report for Wednesday, and that's the arrival of Barry's replacement. He's got nothing on the original, but he was certainly more verbal and proved more entertaining. He just didn't have any mystery about him.
Stephanie is the head lady librarian for the research department. As I said in my last post, she has the power but she uses it sparingly. She's hard but fair. She'll explain things to you and it'll seem like she's being an asshole, but in actual fact she's just adamantly telling you that she has the utmost confidence in you and you can do it if you just believe. Do I hear an Amen? No? Okay...
So there's this old guy who is obviously lacking in the sanity department. Not only that but he's the sort that believes others should do things for him. If he doesn't want to learn, then he won't. It's as simple as that.
He can't seem to load the reel on, so he goes to Stephanie for help. She says she'll show him, but he proceeds to start chunnering on about how he won't get it and she can just come and do it for him when he needs it done.
"No." She sternly informs him, "I'll show you how to do it. We are far too busy to keep coming back and loading the reel for you. You can do it. I'll show you how."
So after a bit of debating, he listens and watches and then starts his spiel, "Right. I'll have a go at it. I'll have a go of it. If I can't get it then I know I'm not perfect then am I? I'm not a perfect man."
The amusing part was that even after Stephanie had left he was still making his point. No one was listening to him. No one was even looking at him. But he was still talking as if there was someone standing right there still having a conversation.
He wasn't a stupid man though. He knew Stephanie wasn't going to assist him. So he actually waited for her to go to lunch, and then collared some other woman to help him. As she showed him how to do it, again, he threw in the remark "I can take them off and you can come and put them on for me."
Heh. Right...
So he's continuing to talk to himself long after the lady has left. Across from me there is an old guy working who has next to no tolerance at all. He spins around in his chair and doesn't yell, but says it loud enough for those surrounding him to hear, "Shut the
up you old !"And that's the end of that. When we go back to collect any data we missed, I'm hoping to go to the museum. I know I said that last time, but this time I'm going to try extra hard to make that happen. And if it doesn't, then it's all Julien's fault.* :o)
*Personal joke. You won't get it, but you're welcome to laugh anyway.
posted by Chikory @ 12:56 pm
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