My sister is a retard.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not especially fond of my sister. I don't care if she reads this, because as of about 10 minutes ago, I am officially so pissed off with her that if she were here I'd grab her bottom lip and pull it over her body... Or get another 2 family signatures and have her committed. After you read this you will agree with that act.

So. A bit of background for you.
At the very end of last year, I was going through a rather tough patch. I turned to my sister online, and I don't know why I thought she'd actually give a crap, because if it doesn't involve her she doesn't give a hoot. Anyway, she blew me off and started talking about herself, so I just humoured her with responses like, 'yeah', 'wow', and 'k'.
Being her usual self, she didn't realise this total lack of literacy, and she kept talking.
She goes offline, and I don't speak with her for another week.

As you can imagine, I'm pretty pissy with her, so I'm not very friendly. During her rant about winning a bird feeder, she picks up on the fact that I'm not all that excited and questions me on this. (If I'm mad at her it's an excuse to go into "pity me" mode and have a cry because her little sister is being a mean poo poo head.)
She asks me what my problem is, so I basically tell her that she has her head firmly shoved up her anus and would know what my issue is if she actually stopped talking about herself for 2 minutes and took note what the rest of the world was doing. Surprisingly I did it in a less angry fashion.
She says nothing for a while, I walk off, and she's offline by the time I return to the PC.

Then the next morning I get some offline messages from my insane sibling. I still have the chat log, so you can all read her "intelligent" spiel.

The Evil One sent 12/30/2006 10:12 PM:
guess what im doing with a bottle of hydrocloric acid??
The Evil One sent 12/30/2006 10:12 PM:
\if im a bitch who doesnt listen... when i thought you where my only freind
The Evil One sent 12/30/2006 10:13 PM:oh my goodness a hole through my leg thanks my sister for tralking to me when i needed someon

What the hell? I didn't realise winning a bird feeder was something that you needed someone to talk to about. Next time someone wins something, I'll think better of it, and offer them a hug and my condolences.

So now, not even a month later, I sit down to eat some dinner and I get a text message. "The Evil One" has sent you some pictures, go to vodafone and do this and this to collect them.
Okay, I think, I'm pretty bored. What rubbish has she sent me.
I'll be nice, unlike her, and give you links. Click them at your own risk, and if you've not got a weak stomach.

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I WAS EATING!!! She's so freakin' nutso it's not funny. I introduced her to my friend Mel online, and next thing you know she's talking to her about birth control. "My marina fell out, what birth control do you use, Mel?"
My Squad, is there any hope for the generations to follow? We're all doomed.