In the great words of Nelson Muntz, "HA HA!"

See that car? Do you? It went off the side of a mountain the other day. I drove past after it had happened, and almost ran over a motorcycle cop (he just pulled out without looking, luckily one of us was concentrating). The road is incredibly windy, recommended speed is 40kmph, but you can do 50 if you know the road. But when it's raining, you just don't fool with it, especially going downhill.

Anyway. When I drove past I couldn't see the car, as it was down the side of the mountain and all. Like, duh. But when it came on the news, I instantly recognised it and laughed. Sounds cruel, I know. But the woman totally got what she deserved. I just love it when stupid people get their comeuppance. It's so great!

See, I have a small car, and there's nothing worse than losers in 4WDs tailgating you when you're breaking the law and doing 10 over the limit as it is. That totally irks me! I almost always slow down, which I did on numerous occasions for this lady. I can't count the amount of times I encountered her on that stretch of road. Her and her huge car, and high up headlights blinding me while she impatiently sat 20cms from my bumper.

So yeah. She got owned. Ha ha to her.


Toodles,
Chikory.

♪♪♪♪

Well gosh, I'm cheesed! And in an ultra nerdy way, I might add. Now I could just get straight to the point and tell you why I'm so gosh darn mighty cheesed off, but where's the fun in that? I'd rather bore you with a long drawn out story.

Once upon a time... Okay, seriously. The other day I made mention of an observation that I well, not quite observed, but heard... No, observed... No. Whatever. I'M FINE! Anyway. Nevermind... I can't be bothered telling this story.

Long story short. The cord for the keyboard (the musical kind, nothing to do with the computer!) died, and I was part way through learning a song that has been torturing me for days! WEEKS EVEN! And now I can't do anything about it. And.it's.slowly.driving.me.insane!

This song is going around and around and around in my head.
The instrumentals in the background are haunting me.
It's pure hell in my head right now.

Oh go away. Who asked you anyway!

Weekly update... Because I'm lazy and it has been an actual week since my last post. Could this title be any longer? Yes.

So. What's happened in a week? I wrote a list. How organised is that!

First off. Thursday night I got bored, so I decided to go to Mel's house early. I got there around 11pm, and dude. She has cable! That was uber cool, because I stayed up till 4am watching a heap of old shows I hadn't seen in ages. Classic moments of my childhood came flooding back to me. Hours spent sitting in front of the tube, mesmerised by the little characters getting up to their antics on the screen. Those were the days. Now there's nothing on TV! You flick through channel after channel and all of it is complete and utter garbage!
Damn you channels 10, 9 and 7! I hate you!

Second. Mince meat is cheaper in Brisbo. So mum sends me, accompanied by a 20 dollar bill, to get 2 trays of this edible substance. I did, and also purchased a bottle of water for myself. I get back to the car, look at the docket and realise that the chick behind the register forgot to scan the water. Now I could've just driven off and been a whole $1.80 richer. But because I hadn't left I felt kind of bad, and went in to pay for the water. Had I been back at Mel's place I wouldn't have bothered, but the parking lot is a whole other story. Anyway. I go in and tell the chick, and she gets full on T.Oed with me. The old lady in the line at least commented that I didn't have to come back and how it was incredibly honest of me. But that chick had a huge bee in her fat bonnet!
"Are you sure it was me who served you?" She says
Duh! I thought to myself and simply replied, "I was here not even a minute ago, and you are the only register open."
Doofus.
So she allowed me to pay and I left. It wouldn't have happened if she weren't standing there talking to the other checkout chick (who was on her way out of the store). Usually I don't give a crap if they talk to other workers. After all, it stops them from talking to me. But in this case I'm ticked at her for being ticked at me for doing the right thing. So she can get stuffed.

Third. On the way home I encountered so many crazy drivers. I realise you have to be aggressive in that kind of traffic. But these idiots weren't letting anyone merge, and when I left a gap they got ticked and started with the hand gestures. We were putting along at about 20kmph. So I can see how allowing 1 or 2 cars in would make them lose precious time.
"I could've been 2 meters ahead by now if that person didn't let that car in! 2 METERS!"
Toss pots.

Fourth. Driving down the highway, almost home, and what do I see? A self-proclaimed "welcome to boganville" advertisement. It was more or less some idiot in a Santa suit walking along the highway waving at the traffic with a bucktooth bogan bag lady running along after him.
Santa is a moron. I hate him, too.

So that was Thursday and Friday. Now for today...

I had to get petrol. So I'm waiting in line. There are 2 pumps in use. I am parked behind waiting, and behind me is another car. I'm sitting there for a few minutes, when this old fruit cake gets out of the car behind. He walks up to each person pumping their petrol and just stands there, staring at them, then moving his focus to the fuel tank, and finally scrutinising the pump screen.
Thankfully he returned to his car before it was my turn, 'cause the mood I was in, I totally would've thumped him in the nose.
Weirdo.

Bad news. We have new neighbours, and they're total bogans. Equipped with the swearing and fighting in the street. Oh yay. How joyous this will be.



This has been a messy, incoherent post. Brought to you by the dysfunctional brain of Chikory O'riley.
Good day to you.

In the words of Big Kev, "I'm excited!"

Ever had one of those strange moments when you do something only to go, "What the hell?" because it was just so darn stupid? I had one of those whilst talking to Mel on msn...

Chikory says:
OHMOG!
Chikory says:
I jsut got so excited!
Chikory says:
And then I was like, "TF?"
Chikory says:
Because it was a really LAME thing to get excited about.
Chikory says:
just*
Chikory says:
Ever had that happen?
- Melly - says:
the pic?
Chikory says:
No. I got something I didn't expect for another week...
Chikory says:
My washing.
- Melly - says:
oh lol
Chikory says:
lmaor
Chikory says:
Lame, huh?
Chikory says:
But I was seriously like, "OHMOG! COOL!"
- Melly - says:
yes
- Melly - says:
lameeeeeeee
Chikory says:
Thank you.
Chikory says:
Thank you so much for your support in my time fo need.
Chikory says:
of*
- Melly - says:
that's what friends are for

Now for a completely random quote by Earl's ex-mother-in-law from the TV series 'My Name is Earl': "Don't you judge me!"

♪"'Cause ya had a bad day..."♪

I couldn't help but over hear (while tuning out on what my father was saying) that Kim Beazley has had one heck of a bad day. According to channel 10 news, he got booted out of whatever position he was currently holding (I really don’t’ make a habit of watching the news, or keeping up with anything non-my-own-private-bubble related), and his brother passed away.

Don't get me wrong, it's all sad I know. But the newsreader made one comment that actually forced me to turn my head and look at the TV screen.
“The Government provided Kim Beazley with a private jet so he could fly home.”*

Say what? The Government provided him with this jet? I realize the urgent need for this, seeing as flights around Australia are far and few, and you’d have to wait days just to be able to find a vacant seat. Not to mention how long your average Boeing 747 would take to fly from Canberra to Perth. So I’m totally not dissing the need for this expensive flight. But to say the Government supplied it is just outrageous! Everyone knows it’s our tax paying dollars that provide everything from bog roll to window panes!

Anywho, all this led me to think that maybe we should all send Mr. Beazley and nice letter asking that he thank us all for supplying him with this convenient jet.

Sounds fair to me.

*Statement is not a direct quote, as I can’t be sure what the exact wording was. So silence, minions!

Meet Zoe. Poor dog.

You know. I totally get that sometimes a family pet might escape. Sometimes, they might just go for a wander and get lost. Sometimes, it's not the owner's fault, and it's completely unavoidable (that is, unless you have super powers and can see into the future). But this. This is beyond the joke!

My buddy Mel has a beef about people who let their dogs roam aimlessly around the neighbourhood. While I completely agree, no one seems to get more angry than her about it.
"It's irresponsible! They have no right to have an animal if they can't look after it!"
Yeah, too true!

Anyway, the point of this post is pictured below.

Meet Zoe. A Jack Russel x Foxy Terrier. When I arrived home last night, she was in the garage waiting to greet me. At first I thought it was my dog, and naturally I questioned what she was doing outside all on her own. But when I turned the light on, I realised the reason she was outside on her own, was because it wasn't Josephine at all.

So I walked inside with this animal, and my dog gave me the evils. I tell ya, if looks could kill, I would be well and truly dead by now.
Mother explained to me that the dog had been hanging around for the better part of 3 hours. Like many other dogs that seem to enjoy hanging out on our property from time to time, she assumed the dog would leave and return to its abode. But it wasn't going anywhere.

The dog had no tag with a name on it, and only donned the typical council registration number. Being too late to call them and find out where it came from, Zoe had to stay the night.

After a lot of whinging from mum and dad about how I should just boot the dog out and see if it was still there come morning, I chained the dog up in my room and let it sleep in Josie's bed. I mean, it's not like Josie uses it anyway. She likes to set up camp on the end of my bed... being a person and all (I roll my eyes).
I mean, if Josie were to escape, I'd want the person who found her to make sure that she were safely returned to me. Not just assume the dog can look after itself and find its own way home. Don't ya think?

Anyway. Back to the point. Come morning, a little after 9am, I rang the council and they told me the dogs name, then went through the whole process of ringing the owners and arranging things so the dog could be returned. This went down well. The owners rang, and being just down the road (I dunno what number, just the street), I said I'd be happy to walk her home.
"Oh no. I'm just heading out. I have to get some medication for my mother, but I'll send my husband around in about half an hour to pick her up, if that's okay?"
Not having anything better to do with my time, because I have no life, I said that would be fine and gave her my address and what not.
That was 2 and a half hours ago.

The lady had explained that she'd taken her kids to some party, and the dog must have got out some how. I bought that excuse, it happens. I get that! But I'm not a baby sitter! She said half an hour, and it's been well and truly over that. This poor dog is upset. She wants to go home. While she's friendly enough, I can tell she's not too comfortable. It's a good thing she doesn't understand, or she'd be well and truly insulted. I know I would be!

I know if Josie went missing, I would've been combing the streets till dawn looking for her. I would've been around in a jiffy to get my little doggie back home where she belongs. This lady wasn't even concerned. She sounded like she was 1 cookie short of a packet, and just not too comprehensive about the whole situation.

Damn I'm cheesed. Poor dog.