Today... sucked. <:o(

...Sigh

I'm had a crap day. As usual, past experiences didn't disappoint, and as I've come to expect, my okay day yesterday was followed by an extremely awful Wednesday.

First off, I had to go down town and do the shopping. I don't have much patience for people, as you all too well know, but coming so close to Christmas people reach their peak when it comes to irking my nerves.
Shortly after I arrived home, I got some mail. Usually it's bills. But no, I was spared today. For about two seconds anyway. That is, until I opened the damn envelopes.
The first one was from Mission Employment. I hate them. They're harassing me to come in for an interview, which usually means I go in, they try and make me talk to that lady I hate, only for the boss to come over and go, "Oh, Chikory, you're not meant to be here. You're still on a medical certificate." I might ring them, but you usually always get the person who doesn't have a clue what they're doing.
The second letter was one of those encrypted pieces of garbage from Centrelink. I have no idea what they're trying to tell me. It's almost as if they have their own language. I guess I'll have to go in and question them. But I fear the same situation as Mission; a plastic flamingo behind a desk with a hollow head.

Secondly, a friend came around with her nephew. He's a cute kid. I've got nothing against him. But I don't like germs and all that jazz. At least only where people are concerned (as I've discovered, this is due to my strong dislike for people. Yeah, my psychologist is good for something). So in between drooling and covering his hands in spit, he throws up on my floor. I almost went into convulsions. I kid you not. I'm actually rather shocked at my reaction, I've never done that before. I mean, not to that extent. Anyway, my friend went to wipe the mess with a towel, and I had to stop her from making that grave mistake. So I whipped out my antiseptic wipes (doesn't everyone have a box of those in their room?), and she thankfully cleaned it for me. Dude, I don't even like recalling THAT event. It was totally gnarly.

Third, I found out that I, along with another poor unfortunate, have become yet again, the victim of gossip. It doesn't bother me, as I've had a lot worse thrown at me, but because it really upsets the other person involved, I'm going to have to stop speaking to them for a while. Just until things die down. It totally stinks. So tell me again, why should I like people??? They're so nice! *Not* I'd like to find the people starting these rumours and punch them in the face. But that's not the right thing to do, which in turn is not only hard, but sucks a heck of a lot!

Fourth, My Best Mate Wes (one of my mice) passed away due to the extreme heat. Poor little fella was fine when my friend left. Then an hour later I go to secure the cage for the night, and he's no longer among the living. Poor little fella only just went, too. Rigor mortis hadn't yet set in. He was so much like his Aunty Emo, too. Use to be first out for the food. He'd come running and sit on my hand happily. I'm sensing a pattern here. I mean, along with my immense dislike for Sundays. Seems whenever I get an animal that enjoys my company just as much as I enjoy its, it up and dies. At least I've still got Clive the rat... I hope. :oS

Fifth and final, for now. I have crossed over to adult hood. Yes, I am officially no longer "cool". I'm old. I never saw that coming. See, my msn picture is the group shot of the Ninja Turtles, visible in my previous rant. Mel's daughter (she's like, 11) came online, and informs me that my picture is "weird". So I filled her in on the background of the turtles, and how I use to watch that show when I were a wee lass. Well. Turns out I'm now old. I got dissed by a freakin' 11 year-old! What The...?

I think the days of angry ranting Chikory are coming to an end. I'm getting boring, and old, and miserable. Well, I was always miserable. But now I just mope. *Sigh* I'm going to go and sulk now...

Reason #202 why I'm a nut case.

So. So so so. Hmm...

I had my first psychologist appointment today. Yeah, I'm nuts. Like you didn't know that already. Anyway, I'm mentioning this because something amusing happened. See, she'd gone down the usual path and asked me about my "dreams". Now, I can never remember my dreams, I mean. Sometimes I do, sometimes they just come to me in an instant and I'll go, 'Oh yeah, that's what that dream was about.' But very rarely do I get that far. So. So so so. She's all disappointed that I couldn't seem to remember them, I guess it would've been fun for her or something. I dunno. But yeah. Okay, this isn't very coherent, is it? Shut up. Continuing.

So, it's like, moments before I get ready to leave, and then, it hits me! So I'm all excited that I remembered, right? And I go, "OH! I remember what I dreamt about now!"
So she grabs her little pen and paper and gets real excited and is ready and raring to go, and she says, "Okay. Tell me about it."
So I said, "Well. I spent all yesterday watching that old 80's cartoon, The Ninja Turtles. And I actually had a dream about them."
"About what?" She asks
So I respond, "About the Ninja Turtles."
So she's looking a little disappointed at this stage, but I think she thinks this still might get somewhere so she says, "Okay, what happened?"
And I shrugged and went, "It was just your average episode. Krang and Shredder want to beat up the turtles and take over the world. But to do that they have to get the Technodrome up on the surface of the earth, but it has no power, so they're after that. But of course the Ninja Turtles kick their butts. Yeah. Just basically your average episode."
She just plopped her pen down and looked rather peeved. I think she thought I was pulling her leg. But yeah. I wasn't. I heart youtube and dailymotion. They give me something more to do than googling random topics... YAY!
It was such an uber cool moment, in fact I'd go as far as to say that it was worthy of the "Elliot Reid: Moment killer!" label. Heh... Scrubs is a funny show.

But back to the Ninja Turtles. Yeah, that's my new flavour of the moment. The old cartoons were so good. The turtles looked cute, yet totally cool, and they had personalities. These new ones, look evil and scary. And their personalities are next to none. I mean, they don't even have pupils! Look at those eyes! (You have to scroll down to do that.) They're the kind of eyes you'd see in the corner of a haunted house, just glaring at you from the shadows, leaving you with the impression that what ever belongs to those eyes is just waiting to jump out of its hiding place and eat your face or something.
Too deep? Oh well.

If you were a 6 year-old, which would you rather look at?
Cool looking characters that won't make you go poopy-in-your-pants, and have the potential to make for very interesting viewing, due to their well-explored personalities?











Or evil things that look like they just jumped out of Dimension X?















Personally, I'd rather hug Krang...












Anywhozel... In the great words of Michaelangelo: "Like, cowabunga, dudes!"

This has been another Chikory O'riley rant™.

The post with no title. Oh wait, this is a title. Damn it!

My pickle tastes funny. Hmm... Maybe someone did something to it while I wasn't watching. How suss.

Went to a memorial service today. In fact I only arrived home about half an hour ago. It was sad, I didn't really know the lady all that well, but my mum had known her for 30 odd years and I wasn't going to let dad drive my car, so I opted to take them.
I sat there trying to be a hard-ass, you know, all cold and what not. "Don't cry, it's for pussies" that sort of thing. But when we all got up to sing the song, my mum started to bawl and that set me off.

Ohmog! It's not the pickle that tastes funny at all. It's the rice noodles. I just happened to eat the pickle after the noodle and together it created some totally disgusting taste that I don't recommend you try at home.
Ew.

Anyway, the reason I'm camped out in front of my computer today is because I'm compiling a heap of those "are you insane" quizzes. I was just going to write them down and give them to a friend, but then I took one look at the uber long url and decided that it's easier to click than write all of that out. So if you've been following my boring existence this far, then you'll probably find that I'm repeating myself. If that annoys you, I don't care.

Damn it, why didn't I add oil to my noodles after I cooked them? They're sticking together now. Grrr... It's not my day for food, clearly. Maybe I shouldn't eat anything for the rest of the day.

Okay okay, keep on track, quiz time.

What mental disorder do you have?

Which mental disorder do you have? See, that one was different. I used which instead of what. Yeah, I know. I'm pure genius.

Personality disorder test

I feel sick. What? I just thought it was time for an intermission, that's all.

Hahahaha. The dog doesn't even want to eat the noodles. Heh... easily amused. Okay okay, back to it.

A few personality tests.

What herb are you?
Apparently I am "moly". What the hell kind of name is that for a herb? Dude. Stranger things have happened. Yup.

Numerous psychological tests Dude! Jack pot! Now I've got something to do. Hooray! Okay, maybe I'm a little too excited. But who asked you anyway! Sheesh. Opinionative son of a diddley!*



*I am not affiliated with Ned Flanders, or Matt Groening in any way, shape, or form.

Statler & Waldorf... Because I got bored. OKAY? Now get off my back!

"That was wonderful!" "Bravo!" "I loved that!" "Oh, it was great." "Well it was pretty good." "Well it wasn't bad." "Well there were parts of it that weren't very good, though." "It could've been better." "I didn't really like it." "It was pretty terrible!" "It was bad!" "It was awful!" "Aw it was terrible." "Take 'em away!" "Yeah! Boo!" "BOO!"

A spot of late night ranting...

I love youtube. Not only do people post whole episodes there, but they also posts links to whole episodes on other sites. So when those nancy-pants bums decide that it's a liable offense to host these videos, the 1337 n3rd5 have other places to go to fill their uber geeky obsessions.

Cool introduction aside*, I managed to fit in some serious House watching. No, I don't mean the actual stationary buildings, but the grumpy doctor played by the hilarious Hugh Laurie. Damn it, he owns.

Anywhozel, I watched the 3 latest episodes from season 3, all involving this total pain in the bottom detective who is just being a total "bleep bleepedy bleep" to House. I literally want to reach through my monitor and give this guy a good beating. He's such a moron. Acting all high and mighty, like it's his job to teach House to play nice with his toys, when in actual fact he's behaving in the exact same way. Hypocritical toss pot!

Not only does this guy annoy me because he's picking on one of my favourite grumpy doctors (Remember Becker? Yeah, I know he's got nothing on House, but still... I remember that guy), but he can't seem to conjugate a sentence without pausing every few words. Oh! And his gum chewing habit just irks me no end. There's nothing worse than someone standing there just chewing like a cow. There is absolutely nothing about gum that's good. Not one thing! It's unhygienic, it's annoying, it tastes gross, and dirty little snots stick it under every surface they can get their grubby little bogan mits on!

BAH! Anyway. Long story short, Tritter makes me mad as H-E double toothpicks!

Mega cheesed off,
Chikory

*If I say it's cool then it's cool. So kiss my rectal recreational area.

♪"Lazy Sunday afternoon. I've got no mind to worry. I close my eyes and drift away..."♪

I noticed something today, a pattern emerging if you will. It seems that every Sunday without fail, I get really "emo". I think I hate Sundays. Now all I have to do is find out why. Eliminating Sundays from the week is out of the question, as I don't think it would be possible for one lone nobody to do.

Maybe I'll just find a way to fool myself into thinking Sundays just don't exist. I guess it could work.

My name is Earl is on. My dad stamens me off sometimes all of the time. Why the hell does he have to put these damn shows on when other people are busy? It's not like he likes the bloody series. All he does is whinge about it. Honestly, he's so inconvenient sometimes.

Uber angry and miserable,
Chikory O'riley

A Good Year

Ohmog! I just got the point of the film title. The movie was basically about a wine vineyard, and good wine is all about the year it was bottled and how long it has been sat there sitting... Heh, I'm so damn slow.

Anywhozel. I went to the movies last night with extremely low expectations (as per usual), but I was pleasantly surprised. I expected to see some awful acting, phone throwing (yeah, I couldn't resist adding that in), and a film with no real point. But instead I was blessed with good humour, and one hilarious reference to hurting small animals and punting a poodle off of a balcony. Hehehe, I love animals but you've got to see the funny side of that.
Unfortunately the entire movie did not make it out unscathed. For Chikory's extremely high standards simply could not tolerate one of the most ghastly attempts at an English accent. Thank-you-very-much, Russel Crowe. I happen to like the British, and quite frankly I think someone was secretly taking the piss at them. Bastards.

The fact that it was produced by Ridley Scott played an incredibly large roll in my actually forking out 11 bucks from my moth-infested wallet to see this picture. I enjoy a lot of his work, the kick ass TV series, Numb3rs being one worth a mention. So I can safely say that yet again, Ridley didn't disappoint.

All in all I found it an amusing film, having 3 things I enjoy in any movie/TV show: Total bastards, humour, and grog.

I give it 6½ out of 10 on the suck-o-meter. Which is actually a good score for those out there that are just as confused as me when it comes to my warped rating system.


Recommending you see this film if you want a laugh,
Chikory

*Sigh*

It's 7:52pm... The minutes of my life are slowly and painfully ticking by. That'd be right. Pigs don't come with instruction manuals. But you know something? They damn well should! And there should be laws against that kind of thing! Strict, Governmental laws. No farmer should own a pig without the proper papers/license. There should be a crack down on this! A probing, if you will! Screw the water shortages. That's small potatoes. Pigs are out there! On people's properties. Farmers have these lethal weapons in their possession and no one is doing a thing to stop it! When will the world learn? WHEN? And don't even get me started on monkeys. Disgusting creatures. I can't stand them. Ever noticed that the singer in the band 'Southern Sons', sounds exactly like John Farnham? No? Well he does! And John Farnham reckons that's it ludicrous! Pffft! He must be tone deaf or something. They're like twins! YES! Twin voices! I knew it. There's always a sinister plot if you look hard enough. Don't look now! There's a fly heading towards you! QUICK! Get out the Pea-Beau! Save yourselves! "Hit 'em high! Hit 'em low! Hit 'em with the ol' Pea-Beau!" Damn it. I hate channel 10. Evil bums need to learn how to follow the TV guide schedule. I mean, after all, they're only the people who print and distribute the thing. Morons. Monk will be on at 7:30pm on Saturday... What's that I see? Billy Madison? Gee, never seen THAT show before. Losers. NYPD Blue is on at 2am? TF? How do you people do this? And yet we tape it and surprise, surprise! IT'S NOT THERE! Why? Because you supposedly changed the time slot to the early hours of the morning, but in actual fact it's not changed at all! Station flipping we discover that we've missed 20 minutes of it, and Dt. Medavoy has big shiner! How'd that happen? Gee, we'll never find out because channel 10 screwed us over! And while I'm at it channel 7 can rot in hell, too. In other news: There is a bug on my monitor. I like light, too. I often stare at lights. They're pretty. Maybe I'm really a bug. Oh well. There's a common thread running through this post. But I didn't notice. I was in the bathroom. Frost is on tonight. WOOT! Frost owns! And if you say otherwise, I'll poke you in the belly until you make a noise similar to that of the Pillsbury Doughboy. I have one of them. Hehehe. Oh wait, I mean, "Hoo hoo hoooo." He's a little discoloured now days. But that's 'cause he's old. My grandma gave him to me when I went to the states in 1995. She's dead now. She can stay that way, too. I won't object. Never really liked her anyway. She called me fat once, which I wasn't at the time, and then got offended when I refused to eat this big piece of cake filled with cream. This all took place within one conversation, mind you. Weird woman. Blah blah blah blah blah. You talk too much. Shut up already! May the force be with you, Chikory

It's mine! ALL MINE!!!

See this? Do you see it? Do you? Do you? Huh? That's mine. Not that exact DVD box set of course, but I have a copy just like it. My M*A*S*H collection is now complete. Yay for me! YAY!

Now I guess all I have to do is start collecting some of the other shows I enjoy.

www.zombo.com

There was a big ass storm yesterday afternoon. The sky went black, the wind picked up, and then it bucketed down rain. Our yard ending up looking like a cyclone had hit it. Trees and branches were everywhere, and a freakin' tree fell on my pigeon coop roof! Yeah. I'm real mad. The pigeons are okay, and they can't get out. But there's a hole now, and my once snake-proof pigeon coop is now rather inviting to hungry reptiles.
Not.Happy.Jan!

The storm was cool to watch though. But to add to my frustration, I'd spent all afternoon in the kitchen cooking and getting a heap of baking ready. Then the power went out, and I was stuck eating a really puny salad instead of my nice smelling, yummy looking quiche.

So I had 2 cakes, 4 trays of biscuits, an apple crumble, and a quiche sitting on the table all night long because I couldn't cook them. Grrrr.

So the power had gone out at about 3:45pm, and didn't come back on until 11:30pm. It wouldn't be so bad if the whole bogan town had no power, but that's never the case. It's always just my street. In the entire town, my street is the only one hooked up to the power supply for the next town over. How ridiculous! I mean it's not like we're on the edge of town. You drive down the street, hang a right, and they've all got power. But do we? NO!

So yeah. In a nut shell that was yesterday's excitement. And I now hear more thunder. Go away, I want to eat my quiche tonight. It's cooked, but the vegies for the side aren't done yet!

In other news, I'm currently awaiting a phone call. Some dude from an employment agency called me about a position going in admin. It's only 4-5 hours a day, 5 days a week for 3 weeks. So I said what the hell, put me down for it. He did, and called me back about an hour ago. The guy sounds like a real moron, he kept asking me questions that were already on my file, which no doubt was on the computer screen right in front of him as he spoke. He wanted me to confirm that I got my admin experience at uni. I was like, "TF? No. I've never been to uni. Let alone worked at one." Okay, not in those words, I was more professional than that. But that statement conveys quite well what my brain was thinking.
Anyway, then he asks my age, which is also on file. I told him and he went silent, then he 'hmmed', 'ummed' and 'ahhhed', and told me he'd call the employer and see what he could work out and give me a ring back.
So I think it's safe to say my age will not get me this job. Despite the fact he had called me to find out if I were available to start on Monday because apparently I did already have the job.

If you're confused by all that, don't worry, so am I.


As previously stated, very confused and irritated,
Chikory

RANDOM RANDOMNESS FROM A RANDOM PLANET!

There have been so many occasions in my life where I've wished I possessed one of those wonderful rectangle-shaped mechanisms that enables the user to capture an image, and keep it for a life time. I think the term I'm looking for is "Kodak moment", but yeah...

Like take Sunday for instance. My posse of cunningly disguised rebels were meeting at a park for lunch. Too lazy to make myself some healthy snack to munch on, I decided to go to the local take away shop for some fush 'n chups. I rock up, and the so wrongly named "convenience store" was inconveniently closed at 1pm.

Then there's today. I'm going down the street, and the poster model for THE Australian bogan steps out of his house. This guy was so dirty. Seriously, he puts the D in dirt! He was unshaven, he stunk, and his clothes were ripped to shreds. I have no idea how they were still clinging to his body. It's a miracle, I swear!

And let's not forget all those moments that leave you standing there going, "WTF?" I can't count how many of those I've had in the past week alone.

So yeah, I really need to buy myself a digital camera. Think of the terror I could unleash on society! Oh that would so own. Screw stalking Anabell, I'd totally go super sleuth and do private eye work for free! WOOT!

In other totally unrelated news, I've had some quiz results on my pooter for about a month. So I will now reveal them to you all, so that when the boredom strikes, you might have something constructive pointless to do with your time, too.

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: Paranoia You are constantly thinking about what others may be saying about you behind your back. You may also feel people have conspiracies against you, or they are out to get you. In crowds you may feel like everybody is watching to closely.
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Manic Depressive
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have?

Dr. Gregory House
75% Eccentricity, 50% Confidence, 20% Kindness

Congratulations, you're the man himself, Dr. Gregory House! You're quite strange, and usually do your own thing regardless of what anyone else thinks. This is partially because a person with an ego as large as yours could not care less what anyone else thinks or feels about anything. Unless, of course, they're your patient and they're dying--but only if they're dying of something interesting! You're a definite asshole to most other people, but at least you know how to be one in style, with an awesome wit, comfortable sneakers, and a never ending variety of facial expressions.

You scored as Unipolar Depression. Congratulations! You are depressed! You know just how it feels to bear all the world's burdens, and the value of a 19-hour night's sleep. And you really hate that circle-guy thing on your Zoloft pill packets. Unipolar Depression 75% Borderline Personality Disorder 67% Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 58% Schizophrenia 42% Antisocial Personality Disorder 17% Eating Disorders 17% Which mental disorder do you have? created with QuizFarm.com

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	High
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Very High
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Low
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Very High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

I'm bored. I want some pie.

Don't know why I keep signing my posts like this,
Agent Chikory O'riley