Spider Solitaire...

Am I the only one who does this? When arranging the cards in order, I always do it so that the finished result is exactly symmetrical...



I always have the time of my post set to an even number, too.

Hmm...

It's a conspiracy!

If you think that Cyclone Larry is the cause of the astronomical price of bananas, then you're grossly misinformed!

With prices set to rise even further in the upcoming weeks, the UAMOBL (Unruly angry mob of banana lovers) are calling on people to join us in our fight against this abomination.
"Drastic times call for drastic measures,” says the leader of the organisation, Kenny, "But we can't do it alone. If we get more people onboard we know this is a fight we can win. So long as you're passionate about the cause, and not wasting time worrying about petty issues like the price of petrol, then we'll welcome you onboard with open arms and a banana smoothie."

Recent inquiries into the situation by anonymous members of the UAMOBL have uncovered evidence that suggests the manager of the produce department in a well-known chain of supermarkets is to blame.
"Our sources are very reliable." Kenny explains, "We have evidence that suggests Napoleon is to blame. He’s the man we need to speak to.”

When asked about the evidence in question, Kenny simply remarked that it would not be wise to release it to the public at this time.
“I will say one thing, though. Several upstanding citizens have sighted this man placing prices above the bananas.”

I got bored.

House and Chase are being held captive by some idiotic "Patton" like gunman. The plan is that when House purposefully falls down, Chase is to piss bolt.

"He raised his head with a groan and squinted into the distance; he'd cracked his skull on the steps, another unintended consequence, and things were starting to look a little fuzzy. He did see a vaguely Chase-shaped object, with a vaguely Chase-like shock of blond hair on top, standing and gaping at him like a deer in the headlights. But it couldn't be Chase, because Chase wasn't retarded. "

The last line cracked me up. Or maybe it was just the booze. Oh well.


Anywho. I'm bored. REALLY bored. I should've been at that concert, but I'm not. For that I hate everyone and everything. I was invited to play soccer at 3pm this arvo, too. I would've gone, but I was too full of hate and rage. I didn't want to see a bunch of assholes who can't be bothered giving me the time of day because I'm not a freakin' prissy girl. Also, I don't play sports. Not only do I have chronic unexplainable leg pains, but the bitches at school picked on me during sports day. So psychologically I hate sport.

Yeah, I know. Boo freakin' hoo. SHUT UP!

So being bored I started doing random Google searches and reading fan fiction. Shut up, I WAS BORED!

Results of my boredom are as follows...

What Kind of Mental Disorder Do You Have? Depressed You are depressed. You sad, pathetic little creature. Here, have some zoloft.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

How evil are you?

Prevent (or Cause) Do You Know the Hip-Hop Lingo at LiquidGeneration!

What type of emoticon are you? Angry Hothead needs to calm it down! Relax and enjoy life...or else!

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Foreman's black!

Dr. Allison Cameron: "Foreman's black."
Dr. Gregory House: "What? How long have you been sitting on this information?"



Things suck right about now.

For starters, I no longer have a job at the pet shop. I loved that job, too. But they can't afford to keep me on as a new pet shop opened up and the competition is effecting them right where it hurts. I'm still employed by them, but I'm only on call. It's better than nothing but I'm upset about it none the less.

Jason, the boss, was very apologetic and he's going to be a phone reference should I need it.
It just sucks though, because I never thought I'd find work that didn't leave me disgruntled and feeling like killing someone. I enjoyed this, and it was something I knew a lot about, too.



I did give another pet shop a call a couple of days ago. See, they'd asked me if I wanted to work for them, but at the time I couldn't because I had the other job. The position is still there though, so I went in to speak to them yesterday.
I won't be accepting that job, though.
Get this. There are 2 people on for each shift, if the till is short you both go halves on the amount missing. So person A could flog 50 bucks out of the till and only have to put 25 back in. That seems fare I'm sure!
She also wanted me to do 2 weeks worth of FREE work to see if she liked me and I liked her. WTF?
I got the vibe off the lady that she'd be the sort that wasn't happy with anything you do, and was totally incapable of compromise. I don't want another Brumby's.


In other news, I can no longer go to the Rogue Traders' concert with Mel. :o( Granted there were only 3 songs or so that I actually like of theirs, but I'm still bummed out about it, and so is Mel. With good reason, too!


I got into a fight with a lady at Mission on Thursday. She's the real bitchy lady. She has the worst body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. She's one of those, "I'm employed and you're not. You have nothing better to do with your time so I'll just suck it all up." kind of people. She royally pissed me off the day before, so I thought I'd go in and avoid her all together. She didn't like this, so she started to lecture me on my attitude. That's rich! So I told her straight, "You're no ray of sunshine either lady!" She started to lecture me some more, so I cut her off and told her that I didn't want to deal with her anymore and I'd like to go through someone else.
Like the good retail person she is, she doesn't apologise for this and just calls the manager over. However the manager was with a client and would be another 2 minutes, so she rudely sends me away to wait.
I don't mind waiting a few minutes, I'd told this total cow that I had somewhere to be a lot of stuff to do before hand. Yet despite this, when the manager was done with the client, she cut in line and went in to put her side first and cover her ass.
I didn't expect her not to, but I wasn't going to wait a further 10 minutes for her to be done. So I told the reception dude that I had another appointment and I'd see the manager on Monday.
Stupid cow.


I'm totally pissed at Woolworth's, too! Petrol came down to 110.9. I planned to get some the next day, but mum said the news stated it would go up by then, so I made the special trip to fill up my tank. I get there and the Woolies station is 117, with the discount. I'm pretty pissed at this but I fill up anyway. I'm at the end of my tank now, and I look around and think "Hmm, this place is pretty quiet considering". It's then that I look across the road and notice BP is 110. BASTARDS! Not only that, but the next day Woolies brought their petrol down to 106. Typical. Just plain typical.


Anywho, I'm hungry, I don't feel well, and I'm pissy.
Chow.

Who will be next?

It's like a cheap free-to-air reality series. This week starts out with Steve Irwin, AKA The Crocodile Hunter, leaving the land of the living without even so much as a "Crikey!", and finishes with Peter Brock ending it all.

If you want more information on Peter Brock's death, google it, ya lazy tossers!

But before I click "Publish Post", I'll leave you all with a paranoid thought from the mind of Chikory O'riley.™
Maybe things aren't as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, someone is killing off celebrities in a cunningly devious way.
Hmm...

Life's a pile of doo doo. But I'm not Derryn Hinch.

Life is hard. Too hard. I'm not keen on it myself, but what are ya gonna do? Jump off a cliff? While most of you are probably chanting "Do it!" prepare to be disappointed, because I'm not going to.
I don't want to die. I just want to quietly fade out of existence. Wouldn't that be nice? Just go to sleep and never wake up. Like a bear in an extended hibernation.

But alas that is not going to happen. Isn't life cruel? Maybe you don't find that cruel but I sure as hell do. I swear someone's trying to stick it to me.
*Sigh*

I'm bored and pissy. Not a good combination. Oh well.

Arnott's Pizza shapes; a soft drink, it ain't.

I have a pet rat. YAY! He's not just any rat though, he's a killer rat! Poor little Clive, as I have named him, was purchased from the pet shop I work at for snake food. The owners didn't realise it, for if they do they just flat out refuse the sale. So poor Clive went out under the radar. However, a few weeks later a man came in and dumped him down on the counter saying, "You can have this abomination back!" Naturally the owner was like, "WTF?" So the guy explained that his daughter had bought the rat for snake food, only the rat didn't like that too much and killed the snake. Poor Clive.

So Clive has been living in the pet shop since, they can't sell him because usually when they've been through an ordeal like that they get unpredictable and sometimes nasty. Clive is a great rat though, and he's got one of the best temperaments I have ever seen in a rodent. His fur is still standing on end, and it won't go down until he's fully over it. It's already been a couple of months from what I can gather, so just when that'll happen I don't know.

Anywho, there was a mass amount of rats brought in the other day, so Clive had to go. The owner wanted him but his wife said no because he rarely cleans up after the animals he brings home. So he thought of me, and said I could have him if I wanted. He wanted to make sure that Clive went to a loving home. After what he's been through, it was the least he deserved. So I took him.

I had a place to go after work though, so I ended up having to take him with me. It was kind of weird rocking up to a picnic on the beach with a rat on my shoulder, and a lot of the kids there got a kick out of it.

Clive is doing well now, and he's quite happy. I let him roam around my room and he comes up and wants a hug and a pat every now and then. He's so cute.

So now in total I have 2 ring neck doves, 1 dog, 10 mice (and more on the way), 1 rat, and 24 pigeons.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In other news, I just got back from stupid Mission Employment. I'd like to kick one of the ladies that works there in the head, but unfortunately the law prohibits me from doing that. She's so annoying. She's rude, arrogant, and a total time waster! Constantly calling you over to her desk to have a "chat" only to go through the jobs in front of you and then send you away to apply for the ones you said you'd do. Like, what the stamen*? I was doing that before, jack ass!

She tried to do it to me again today. I just gave her my stamened off look and requested that I finish what I'm doing first. So she says, get this, she says, "What are you doing?"
LIKE WHAT THE STAMEN? I'm looking for jobs you dumb stamen! I wouldn't mind but it's not like it wasn't half obvious. Stamen!
So I took my sweet ass time and she soon got fed up of waiting and decided to harass some other poor bugger. In that time I finished and made a run for it.

I was so Jack Bauer. Sneaking around and making a dash for the elevator. GO ME!

Anyway, that's it for now.
Peace out, yo.


*Stamen is a word I use instead of swearing. If you're stupid and you don't know the definition of Stamen, look it up in the dictionary.

Crazy Warehouse Guy!

After a nice long afternoon of watching video after video of Chaser's War on Everything clips, I decided to call it quits after viewing my 30th video or so. Not only was my ass going numb, but my leg was hurting and I needed to take a dump.

Okay, joking. I didn't sit there THAT long. I did get up and have a break every now and then. After all, that's what the pause feature is for.

So feeling kind of pissy that Hambo didn't get back to me on the status of his last minute mission*, I decided to do some random Google searches. But not the image kind.

Still on a high from all of the Chaser crew's randomness, I found my very first search of the day extremely hilarious. Probably more so than it actually was, in fact. But what the hell, laughter is the best medicine, right?

I typed the words "I think you're gay" into the search engine, because that's always funny, don't you know? Gay is like the new black of the insulting world. Not that I'm being racist there, I'm referring to clothes. Ok, shutting up before I get some posse of angry people on my hide.

I got the following links among the top 10 Google so generously supplied in a timely fashion of 0.43 seconds. Oooh, wow. Someone call the Guinness Book of Records!

Heh, I'm a riot today. A total riot.

First up - Teenage Concerns: Think You're Gay? DUDE! GOLD!
Secondly - Debate - D Thompson - So, You Think You're GAY! WTF?
Third - How to Hang out With Girls and Not Have People Think You're Gay ... Because everyone really NEEDS to know that. I'm surprised it's not under the first aide section in those gumby cheap-ass high school diaries you get at the beginning of the school year.
And last but not least. Give a big round of applause to number four - "How Do You Know If You're Gay?" Do people actually wonder that? Call me an insensitive prick, (no really, do it. If you comment, add that in) but why would anyone waste their precious time wondering about that?

Meh. So so ends another episode of Random Google searches. I'm your host, Chikory O'riley. Goodnight.



*During an MSN conversation with Hambo, I challenged him to mock the Crazy Warehouse Guy from Chaser's War on Everything during his night shift in the Liquor department of Safeway. He came online today, but I was too busy watching videos on youtube to ask, and he didn't offer. I guess Hambo chickened out and failed me. Shame that. I would've liked to see the security tapes for that evening.

**I was bored and wanted to add a shit load of links to my post. Who actually clicked on them all? C'mon, own up, who?