I've said it once, I'll say it again. WTF???

Thanks to my posse member, Mel, my attention has been brought to yet another fact that proves the world has gone MAD!

This article tells the disturbingly sick tale of two happy retarded parents doting over their sprog in a very warped and unhealthy manner.
Surely Tom isn't that desperate for cash after losing his contract with Paramount that he has to resort to, literally, selling shit? Come now, Tom. You can sell your acting; it's of equal value!

Okay, okay, so they claim the proceeds are going to infant health charity "March of Dimes". But the whole thing is freakin' warped, like Tom's face.

I'm disturbed.
Goodbye.

RACQ... WOULD be without it.

I hate RACQ. In fact, I hate RACQ so much that it has just bumped Kyra Sedgwick out of my top 10 most hated evils list.

Get this. Recently I changed my car insurance from RACQ insurance to the one with my bank. Being the paranoid little mofo I am, I never leave all my moolah in an account that other companies and crap have access to. My mother has had issues with companies stealing her moolah, and so has my father. So I'm not willing to let them have access to more than is needed.

Anyway, I left just over 100 dollars in the account for the bank to take the first months payment, which was only a low 71 bucks. RACQ had been cancelled, they called the head hunchos right in front of me telling me that the policy was over and done with. I was assured their computer records showed I wasn't insured with them anymore. However, this was not the case.

I get a letter in the mail a few days later from the bank telling me that there wasn't enough money in the account, so I am now over drawn. As a result, the buggers are charging me 20 bucks.
My reaction, "WTF?" Seeing as there was at least 30 dollars more than was needed in the account.

Today, it is all clear. I get a cheque in the mail for the amount of 73 bucks from RACQ. The bastards stole my money a day before the bank was due to take out the payment, so when it came time for them there wasn't enough to cover the amount.

Heads will roll over this! I'm so damn pissed! In fact I might hire Jack Bauer to do some contract killing. Or maybe I'll just frame them to look like terrorists so he'll do it for free.

BAH!!!
NOT HAPPY JAN!!!

Rocket man!

So, I paid a long awaited visit to Erold. HAHAHA! I shit you not, that's my doctor's name. Hehehe. Sorry, I just find it funny.

Anyway, I'm all good now. I hated how the other druggies were not working, and then when I stopped taking them because my prescription ran out (and I'm an uber tight ass, so I couldn't be arsed refilling it for nothing), I felt sick. Like real sick. So I was extra pissy than normal.

But I have new drugs now, so I'm not feeling so sick and dizzy anymore, and I'm not AS pissed off. I'm sort of bordering on the line of being a normal person, as opposed to the I'm-going-to-kill-you person I was about 5 hours ago.

Mind you, I wanted to kill this old lady in Woolies earlier. Mum and I were standing at the checkouts, and she was totally invading my personal space! I shit you not! She was all up in there, standing right behind us, slamming her trolley into the back of us, and squishing her groceries up against ours. I got over mad and I said rather loudly to mum, "This old bat is in my personal space. If she doesn't get the hell out of my bubble I swear I'm going to hit her." To which mum replied, "I don't think she'd like that much." So I added, "Yeah, and my medication hasn't kicked in yet, so I could plead insanity."
She backed off slightly, but not enough in my books.

Oh, wanna read something funny? Like uber funny? My sister was busily packing today to embark on her journey back home. Her train was due to leave at 7pm, and she messages me and mentions that her son turned 3 yesterday.
I thought about this for a moment and I'm like, "WTF? Her son was born on the 24th. Is she that nuts she doesn't even know her own kids birthday?"
So I message her back informing her of this, and then she realises that she has the dates wrong and she isn't leaving until tomorrow.
I know. It's reason #244 why my sister is an idiot.

And I know she will be reading this at some point, so suck it up. It's nothing I haven't said to your face! (Insert emoticon with tongue poking out in an attempt to add a little levity to the situation here.)

Before I go, I should add that I am going to have to ditch my name and move countries because little Matty is coming. He is going to open up a can of whoop ass on me, so I'd better boot scoot out of here. After all, his mummy is a flight attendant. *OH NO!*
Mind you, I doubt the fag could find his way out of a paper bag, let alone locate me in the white pages.
Flaming homo, or just a try hard emo? What do you reckon?

MA COFFEE! MA COFFEE! I HATE COFFEE!!!

5 days without my medication is sending me a tad bonkers. I'm not nuts, though. Despite what people say! Don't listen to them, just ignore them. They're against me, so you'd be wise to heed my warning and steer clear of that posse of wrong doers!

Nah seriously, you'd best listen, because I know the Red Power Ranger, and he can be a real bitch!

And weeeeee! DAVID HASSELHOFF!

It's times like this when I pull out my "big bear mug" and fill it with about 5 tablespoons of coffee or more. It fits a whopping 1 litre, and most coffee lovers would be going, "OH YAY!" But I hate coffee. I guess I'll probably be throwing up later, because it totally tastes like shit.

Yes, I've eaten shit. Not intentionally, mind you. But I have eaten it.

"BORN TO BE WIIIILLLLLDDD..."

You pussy freakin' coffee drinkers need to grow some balls! You call this a mug of coffee?

I laugh in your general direction!

THIS is a mug of coffee. A MAN'S coffee. Not that I'm a man. I'm just no girly freak, like whimpy I'm-gonna-give-you-a-parking-ticket-and-own-your-ass Ned from Neighbours.
THIS IS A MUG OF COFFEE!!!

(Mind you I didn't think that through. The ruler ends on 300mm, so, like, just count from there Backwards to 170mm and that's how tall my mug is.)

COFFEE DRINKERS UNITE!
The Red Power Ranger says hi!
IT'S MORPHIN TIME!

Don't you just want to hit it?

At present there is some little mofo in Canada who wants my blood. Seems he's more gullible than your average 2 year-old at Christmas. But what the heck, I had my fun. I still can't believe the little tosser hurried his ass down to the mall to meet me, and then sent his woman in to scope out the bogger walls for his e-mail address, which was apparently written there.

I had to regretfully stand the poor guy up, seeing as it's hard and all to get from Australia to Canada in half an hour, and he was mighty rejected. But all in all the argument that took place upon his return was a well needed boost to my spirits. I haven't had a good retarded Internet fight since, well, since MSN closed down the Grotto.
Mind you, it was a bit of a slow argument. He took about 3 minutes to spew out a totally "leet" line of illiterate garbage. But someone who knows him in person informed me that it's because he has to take time to flick his hair to the side before he starts to type. What a dumb ass.

So if you're bored and you want to have fun, add ditto272@hotmail.com. You can get the other good details from his profile.

Hahaha! Try hard emo!

Mares eat oats and does it oats and little lambs eat ivy.

It was three weeks yesterday since I bought my mice on a whim down in Brisbo. Come tomorrow it'll be three weeks since my little Emo passed away. However, thinking I purchased 2 mice was clearly an error in judgment, as I have found that Bauer is pregnant. She's as big as a whale. You know what that means?
I was right!

For the past few weeks I have been convinced that she and House were up to something. They were acting so secretive, yet at the same time were quite obviously plotting something sinister. So all you morons who said I was paranoid, well, HA! I was so totally on the money!



In other news I bought myself a copy of "A bit of Fry & Laurie" on Wednesday. It's quite funny in places, and I will be buying seasons 2 and 3 when they're released in Australia. If you want a laugh at good ol' British humour in all its innocence, then I recommend that you snag yourself a copy of this DVD and enjoy a good 3 hours and 31 minutes of insanity. Or you could just search youtube. But they're not all there so don't be a tight ass! Go out and buy it!


I now have 2 jobs again. Whenever I decide to bless Woolworths with my presence that is. I'm now being paid to clean up animal shit. It's not as bad as it sounds, though. I'm working at one of the many boarding kennels on the sunny coast, and damn it, I'm loving it! There are some ripe ol' characters there, and while I'm not too keen on cats, I'm thankful that the cleaning process for them is somewhat short so I can leave them pretty quick smart.

I'm not going to be getting too many hours with them until the holidays come, but it's experience, and it's much more enjoyable than Woolworths. So yay me!
I'm still looking for fulltime work, though. So that search continues.


A bit of sad news now. 24 ended last night, and I don't know if I can last a whole year until Jack's return. They should so totally move their asses and get the next series up and running before I cry.
But he saved the day, and he got the president arrested, and that's not all bad. However, he was not cool enough to outwit the Chinese a second time, and they caught him and beat his ass. I say it's because he didn't have his bag with him in that final scene. It's the only explanation, because he couldn't have done any of the shit he did without his bag!

And now, a tribute to Jack Bauer's magical bag man purse.
(Photobucket screwed up the image, there's nothing I can do about it.)