I got nothin'...

Oh I just totally killed a bug Jack Bauer style not even a minute ago. You should've seen the guts squish out to the side, it was awesome! Hell, I can still see the guts because it was on my monitor at the time. I guess I didn't really think that one through.

I'm currently being harassed by a total bitch. Now I wish I could kill her like that bug. Or maybe like Jack Bauer did to that dude last night. He totally stabbed him through the neck with a pair of surgical scissors. If that's not cool, I don't know what is.

Threw a rock at a cat today. It was a fat lump of ginger shit sitting on my fence. So I jumped out of my car, grabbed the nearest rock and did an Australian fast bowler move on it. I sconned it right in the ass, so I assume it won't be coming back anytime soon.
Unless it's stupid, that is.

I had a shit load of stuff to bitch about say, but I seem to have forgotten it all.

Oh well.

Jack Bauer... DAMN IT!

Ohmog! So, 24 is back on. I love watching that show. I never use to, but I saw the last ¾ of season 4, and thought it was rather funny.

Jack just kicks so much ass with his lack of food and water intake, and never needing to take a dump. Wouldn't life be so much more interesting if you were Jack Bauer? Don't you think? You'd get to run around and kill people in the name of saving the citizens of your country, not to mention that the price of living would be totally cheap! Imagine never having to line up in a supermarket to buy food or bog roll ever again!
*Sigh... I'm in heaven*
And if a kid were screaming its lungs out, you could totally whip out your weapon of choice and blow it's head clean off.

Okay, that's a bit morbid, but if I were Jack Bauer you'd be thinking about how cool I am, and how if you crossed me I'd totally hunt you down and blow you up with some paper and a match stick. Remember, he's Jack Bauer, he can do that!

Anyway. I started a blog at some shitty bebo place. I got bored and thought it would be fun to make a Jack Bauer blog. You can see it here.

My quiche is in the oven. I wish it would finish cooking. I have somewhere to go tonight, but I doubt I'll have much fun. Most of the people there I'd like to punch in the face, but stuff like that would be frowned upon; At least I'm assuming it would be. Unless of course my current 2-day-old dream of becoming Jack Bauer came true. Then it would be totally acceptable, and I could kick their asses and laugh.

Internet connection - $35 bucks a month
Time spent googling images of Jack Bauer - 20 bucks
Time spent youtubing 24 spoofs - $29.95
The dream of one day becoming Jack Bauer (Or just as kick ass as him) - Priceless

91 minutes later: I'm feeling pissy, jiffed, and I do believe my IQ has even dropped.

I just finished watching a movie known to mankind as "Napoleon Dynamite". This complete load of shit made me laugh, but in a totally morbid way. I still have no idea what I was laughing at, or even why for that matter; the moment just seemed to call for it.

Does that seriously make sense to you? Because it makes bugger-all sense to me!

It's been mentioned in conversation a few times by a couple of people, although I was told someone was writing a poem and they said "Dear rock. You rock!" I saw none of this, and said person is going to have to explain themselves. Or maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention and I missed it. Both are totally plausible explanations. But the point of even starting this paragraph was to inform you that the above stated reasons happened to be my inspiration for actually going out and spending my precious dollars on this... uh.... movie?

Suck rating for this movie is a not so grand, yet passable 3 ½ out 5.
Now who do I see about getting my life back?

E blocking posse beware! I will get you!

*Nokia ring tone*

"Hello?"

"Hi! How are you?"

"I'm fine. And you are?"

"Is this Chikory?"

"Yes."

"I've been stalking you!"

"Okay."

"And I really like you."

"Mmm Hmm..."

"And I think we should meet!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"We should have lunch."

"Oh, should we now?"

"Yes. I really like talking to you."

"Do you now."

"We should meet up. I'd like to meet you."

"You sound a little special."

"I am. That's me. I can't help it. That's just the way I am."

"Are you an E blocker?"*

Beep beep beep...

That's the phone call I got about half an hour ago. Just when I was starting to have fun they hung up. Pricks. I know it was "they" because I heard the other person laughing in the background.

Pity that. I really think we had something special going... sigh.

I'm pretty sure I knew who it was, too. Well, I've made a list of about 3 possible suspects. Each just as easy a target as the next. You may have hung up, mofos, but my fun has only just begun!

*E blocker is a term we used during high school. It defined the kids who attended the special education unit, which was located in E block. However, now it's in X block. So our old school terminology is, well, old school.

Woolies cocks up... AGAIN!

It's no real surprise. If there were an award for the most idiotic global company, I'm sure Woolworths would win hands down. But what makes them so stupid? The overall objection of the company? The people that shop there? The lowly staff members that do all the hard yakka? No. It's the lazy bastard supervisors and head hunchos they put in charge. They are what makes such a huge company look like it's run by 3 year-olds in a day care center.

For about 10 weeks now I have been trying to get it through Debbie's thick skull that my weekly availabilities are as follows...
Monday 7am - 9:30pm
Tuesday 7am - 6pm
Wednesday - NA
Thursday 7am - 6pm
Friday 7am - 9:30pm
Saturday - NA
Sunday - Closed

Is that so hard to understand? Mind you it's all written in 24 hour time on their stupid forms. Maybe that's what confuses the dumb bitch. Or maybe it's just her lack of brain. Take your pick.

Basically each time I pay a visit to the roster I find she's rostered me on during a day I'm not available, so I have no choice but to can said shift. I complain about it. She tells me that something has stuffed up in the system, and then hands me a new availability form to fill out with the promise that she'll "fix it".
The next week follows and we repeat the process.

But in the last 2 weeks she's been extra stupid. The week before last she told me that my availabilities said that I wasn't available on Tuesdays, so that was why I had hardly any shifts.
"But Debbie" I said "I'm already rostered on for Tuesday. So how can the computer think that I'm not available for that day?"
Busted! And I fill out ANOTHER form.

Last week she put in the system that I wasn't available from Tuesday - Saturday.
I fill out another form.

Now this week I'm not available Monday - Saturday.
WTF? How stupid do you have to be to think, "Hang on. I've been doing this week after week. Maybe I don't remember the times she gave me, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a big fat 0!"

I'm done with it though. I'm not going to mention it to her. She can figure it out on her own. And when she calls me in, she can fuck off because according to her roster I'm not available next week.

Nothing new; I'm still a bitch, and I still moan a lot.

I called in sick today and gave Woolworths a miss. It was my only shift for the week, but who cares. I'm so over those idiots. The customers have been ticking me off 10 times more than usual, and it's a full time job restraining my violent urges and inner rage.
So the public was safe for one more day. Lucky them.

Instead I went to the doctors, and I met a rather pissed off old man; He's my inspiration. He'd been waiting for over 40 minutes, and he was none too happy. So he got up, went to the reception desk and asked the lady if she'd order him a pizza. She said no, that bitch. But it was funny none the less.

Now I'm back with a nice new prescription; and it's a stronger dosage! :o) WOOT!

Went to the park yesterday. There was a group going, and I took the dog seeing as it's a short bush bash away from my house (like 2 minutes, if that). Everyone was being boring and just sitting there eating, so I headed down to the waterfall and climbed half way down it as usual.
The dog was scared shitless, she always is, and I had some peace and quiet for a short while.
I was joined by a mob of kids peering up at me and yelling out, "Aren't you scared up there?"
Dumb shits. If I were scared I wouldn't have bothered to climb down the rocks.
Some people just don't think.

I'm just waiting to go somewhere at 3pm. It's like 2:30pm now. Don't you just hate that? You have somewhere to be at a certain time, yet there's not enough time to start doing anything because you know you'll have to stop before you finish whatever it is you decided to do. Instead time passes by slowly and ever so painfully. Fuck you clock!